Losses....on the Journey...

 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. - Psalm 119:105

Ultimately, there comes a time in our lives when nothing is clear. Uncertainty looms, and we don't know what to do, what to say, where to go, or what will come next. I've been there. Quite recently, as a matter of fact, and it was (is) a journey I don't regret. 

My husband lost his job. To be quite honest, I was terrified. He is the only income for our family, we are a homeschooling family and I have been a stay at home mom since November 1999. We had NEVER in our 18 years of marriage been on a journey like this. He's always had a stable, dependable job, even throughout the tough economy, even though, he worked in the automotive sector. We've been blessed, I guess, as I know of many who've been down this path several times. 

What made this so huge, to me at least, was the fact that this didn't happen once. It happened twice, and in less than 2 years. The first time, we had stepped out in faith, believing God was leading us back to our East TN roots, which we still don't doubt. We were prayerfully, after 14 years away, coming home. He worked for 29 days at this awesome company, doing this awesome job he was so excited about. Then the bottom fell out, they hit financial difficulties and we were a casualty of that. That journey, while God provided for us, isn't one I'm proud of. Our faith was weak, we tried to do it alone, I spoke the words, but honestly, my faith was quite wishy-washy during that time. After 6 months of searching, and almost giving up and returning to NC (though I'm not sure what that would have accomplished), he found a job. One he was so excited about. One that seemed perfect. 

So ... on to the journey. After about 90 days, his job lost it's "perfect." His boss became demeaning, mean, dishonest and did/said unimaginable things. For the first time, in his career, he was truly in a hostile work environment, and it was HELL. All the time, he'd heard from others that this would happen. I even encouraged him not to listen to the naysayers. He'd heard about the 4 looming lawsuits against the company and his boss, and still, believed he'd be "the" employee that made it past the 9 month mark (to this point, no one in his position had done so) and could prove them wrong. Well, he did, sort of. He'd covered his butt, watched every step, crossed every "t" and dotted every "i"....fought many false write-ups (which he had NEVER received until this job) and proved them false. He missed one "t" or "i".....not really sure which. He was 11 days shy of making it 18 months. And then it ended. JUST LIKE THAT. 

What made this journey different? Our faith. In this 18 months, my own prayers for my hubby to be our leader, to become my godly husband (mind you, he wasn't a bad man, he just didn't spiritually lead us, commit to time with God daily, he was a believer, but definitely, like many of us get at times, spiritually lazy), and a change happened in February 2011. One that changed our life forever....well....at least to this point.....

He came home on August 31st, 2012, with the news that once again, he was unemployed. I was terrified and angry, yet relieved he'd never be under that mans control again. I was shocked, yet not surprised. Something in my spirit had warned me of this....to the point that the morning of the 31st, I'd called a friend to pray with me. 

We had been job searching since January, thinking we'd find a way out of this horrible, hostile environment, that had sucked the very life, joy, and spirit out of my husband. I had desperately prayed, as I will share....for him to be rescued from this place. And God did indeed, answer my prayers. Many will argue, I suppose, that it wasn't God, but I have looked back at my prayer journal (and his) enough to know, it was indeed. And standing on the other side, I've no doubts. 

(I will continue this story.....but for now, this mama is a teacher too, and must go teach children. Stay tuned for the next chapter.)