Heavy Loads....Need Rest....

It happens. We forget. Slowing down doesn't seem like an option. We can't. We must keep moving. Working. Then.....

We get worn down. Patience is worn thin. Tempers flare easily. The laughter seems diminished. We become disconnected. From Him. From one another. 

He promises rest. We only need to seek it. Seek Him. 

“Come to Me, all of you who work and have heavy loads. 

I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

It happened to us. It's been a trying year. We felt the disconnect. From one another. From rest. From Him. Then....

This day. This moment. This beauty. 

 Words were few.

Beauty was all around.

His presence was there.

Slowing. We took in His artwork.

His rest was accepted.

Thanks. Many thanks. Offered. Appreciated. 

Reminders of togetherness. 

Recognition of the important things. People. Family. Love. Him.

I want to be mindful. I want to seek Him. I want to step away from the daily grind. Seek a place of solitude, surrounded by His workmanship. 

Thank You, Father for restoration. Of patience. Of laughter. Of togetherness. For Your presence. Your love. Your grace. May I be mindful. May I not let so much time pass with busyness. May I seek you daily. And intentionally, more often, get away.

My soul, waits in silence for God only,

For my hope is from Him. - Psalm 62:5

Do you get overwhelmed before you remember He promises you rest? I urge you. Do NOT wait. Find your rest. It changes everything. He changes everything.

Be Blessed!

Identity.

Who am I? Who are you? Who are we? It seems there's always an identity we are seeking, an image we are chasing...and we find confusion, discontentment, and ultimately, we wind up with no clear answer.....

Casting Crowns recorded a song, it begin...."Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth, would care to to know my name, would care to feel my hurt?" As the song, continues, it's clear that it's "not because of who I am, but because of what You've done...not because of what I've done, but because of who You are." I've listened to this song many times since it's release, and each time to true magnitude of who I am to who He is falls on me. 



Recently, it caused me to wonder, if, in my years of parenting, I've conveyed to my children, who they are?!? And, furthermore, made me begin a search on who I am...in Him. So many times, I wear the title of wife, mom, homemaker, nurse, housekeeper, etc., that I forget, I am so much more! 

In seeking my identity, and in making a reference to share with my children, and to begin speaking Life and Truth into them about their identities, I found the following: 

I am....

• made by His hands, known first, by Him - Psalm 139:13
• God's child - John 1:12
• a friend of Jesus - John 15:15
• united with Him, one with him in Spirit - 1 Corinthians 6:17
• chosen and adopted by Him - Ephesians 1:3-8
• complete in Him - Colossians 2:9-10
• established, annointed, and sealed by God - 2 Corinthians 1:21-22
• hidden with Christ in God - Colossians 3:14
• a citizen of Heaven - Philippians 3:20
• born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me - 1 John 5:8
• His temple - 1 Corinthians 3:16
• a minister of reconciliation - 2 Corinthians 5:17-21
• capable of ALL things through Him - Philippians 4:13

This list is, by no means, a complete list, it is simply an excerpt from my own journal, my seeking through the Word. In Him, we are SO much more! Yet, seeking the answers, and writing it out, made me think of exactly how special He considers me. And while the song is right, it's not because of anything we do, or anything we are....it's because of Him, He created us to need Him, AND to feel loved, secure, and significant in His eyes. He created us to have an amazing Identity, through Him.

See, He is Sovereign. He knows all, is all, and He knew there would be some of His precious creations neglected, abandoned, hurt, helpless, etc. Nothing surprises Him. These truths of who we are are true for those as well. I am one of those. And yet, I am daughter of the KING!!!!!!!! 

I encourage you to not get caught up in who the world says you are and/or should be. We were not created to have an identity crisis, we were created by and for Him! Seek who He says you are, find your true identity....and this is ONLY found in Christ Jesus! At the end of the day (quoting a  friend/mentor and my super awesome small group leader), "I am a reflection of the I am." Who are you? Seek Him. His reflection is within you. You too, are a reflection of the I am! Your identity is more than what the world sees, it is Him, lovingly woven within you. 

Be Blessed!

Do you speak Truth or Lies?

What do you speak to yourself...in good times? In bad times? Do you speak words of love, life, and encouragement? Or do you speak words of doubt, fear, and self-destructive things?

I learned a huge lesson....or at least had my eyes opened to this very thing over the past week or two. We've been having some behavior issues out of our boys. So, we've been talking about character, and how God is merciful, and how discipline isn't pleasant for us or them, but it's necessary to help form them into godly men. We have also reassured them that they are good boys and that we believe in them and know that their desire is to be obedient, but our sin nature gets in the way and how God gives us His word to help us CHOOSE not to sin AND to arm us against the negative that the Enemy would rather us believe.

And......a lesson was learned. By me. I have encountered some troublesome times with some extended family over the past 6-9 months. I've been hurt deeply, used, felt anger, had to work on forgiving, etc. However, in the midst of these trials, when the tears are flowing, am I using the Word? No. I'm ashamed to admit. I'm not. 

I've been so guilty of hearing the doubts and lies of the enemy and feeding off of anger to multiply my moment into something far bigger than it was, and I feel justified....in the moment. AND, let me tell you, carrying these things, rather than standing on Truth, doesn't make me the best mommy, wife, homemaker, etc., that I can be! And, surprise!!! I'm not satisfied. Actually, I feel worse. I sulk, and cry, and while these feelings and emotions are ok, for a moment, they aren't where we are intended to reside. 

As we've talked to our boys, I have used two main verses:

"Your word I have treasured in my heart,That I may not sin against You." (Psalm 119:11)

and 

"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12)

I, as a Child of the King, have access to the most powerful weapon against sin, the Enemy, and all other perils. And, if I'm hiding (treasuring) His word in my heart, as the Psalms say, I'm armed when these attacks come my way. We read throughout the Psalms where David cried out in anguish (hence my statement about the feelings and emotions being ok, but only for a moment) to God....however, ultimately, he trusted God, dug out of his pit and moved on. If I preach "hiding His word" in their hearts, what am I modeling, when I am so deeply offended, and feeling angry? Now, that said, I don't go into details, but kids are intuitive. They know when we aren't at our best. 

The verse from Hebrews is HUGE to me. It explains the magnitude of His word. It is LIVING and ACTIVE. If then, this word is hidden in my heart, it is working, digging, cutting, shaping....ALWAYS. Unless, that is, I choose to work against it, relying on my own power (flesh) to resolve whatever I face. In the message, it says the Word is “cutting through everything whether doubt or defense.”  His word cuts through ANY of the lies that attack us and draw us away from Him. We have doubts and hear lies from sources all around us every day. Some are from within us, others are from news sources, people, and other battles we face, but ALL are from Satan. When we are so deeply woven with the Word (hidden in our hearts AND seeking it daily) that we can stand on the knowledge of Truth, we can stand up for what we believe, and against the lies of the world, our own mind, and other forces...which ultimately come from Satan. His plan is to draw us into the lies, and often uses areas of us that are weak. His motive is to suck the joy out of us and our lives until we are just a shell of defeat and there is no more evidence of who God says we are.

I don't expect to achieve perfection, this side of Heaven. But I do know that, personally, I want to be like Jesus. He was tempted, and rebuked Satan’s lies with the Truth of the Word. We have access to this Word, and I believe it’s the single most powerful  tool we have access to, on Earth. It is powerful enough to pull down strongholds (2 Cor. 10:4-5 – "For the weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world, they have divine power to break down strongholds, demolish arguments, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."), raise the dead, heal the sick, make the deaf hear, the blind see, to destroy Satan’s kingdom, and set up Christ’s kingdom on the ruins!!! That's the power I (and YOU) hold within us. We simply have to tap into it. 

So, as I teach my children, to arm themselves with the Word, this LIVING and ACTIVE Word, that completely guts us (our inner selves, thoughts, and motives exposed)....I think He really intends this lesson for Dee. Yet, in all His ways, this was the way I have had to learn. He's not through with me yet, thankfully! 

What about you? How do you choose to speak to yourself? Do you speak Truth or allow the Enemy to attack you with lies? 

Be Blessed!

Autumn, in awe of His splendor....

I'm always amazed at the splendor of our Creator. The sheer beauty of a spring flower, the peace and tranquility of the ocean, and the majestic sparkle of a freshly fallen snow, it's all evidence of His mighty hand at work. Truth be told, no season leaves me more in awe, though, than Fall.

God, my Master, you created earth and sky by your great power—by merely stretching out your arm! There is nothing you can’t do.  (Jeremiah 32:17 - The Message)

There is just something about the season of Autumn, that alerts my senses, renews my spirit, and draws me to Him like no other season. Sunsets seem more filled with beauty and color, the air smells crisp, the leaves begin to change, the grass slows it growth, the lawn mowers slow, then cease, the nip is almost always evident in the air, and the mosquitoes begin to hideaway (admittedly, my physical being likes this part best!). I love nothing more though, than a cup of coffee and the chill in air, while sitting on my deck first thing in the morning in front of my open Bible, meeting with my Heavenly Father. Only a few weeks each year offer me this prime opportunity, and I try to take full advantage of them.

It is the season where we begin to prepare for winter, but until the winter gets here, we get to experience a chill, but not cold; our earth as His canvas with the most beautiful and vibrant yellows, oranges, and reds; sunrises and sunsets that are breathtaking; and open windows that cleanse our homes and souls like no other season can.

Today, for my family, that looks like this:
                                   

We are preparing our wood for burning this winter in the fireplace. Another time and season in which I find comfort, but for different reasons, and the weather, temperatures and climate have nothing to do with it. That's another post, for another time. But for today, this preparation means it's Autumn. It means my family (immediate and some extended) were together. It means we enjoyed some sunshine, without Summer's heat, some togetherness that involved laughter and work, the smell of freshly cut wood, and for me, chats with my Mammaw, and more giggles as she proudly watched her grandsons-in-law and two of her great-grandsons work. 

A chilly morning. A cup (or maybe a few more) of coffee. Refreshing. Soul cleansing. Family. Fun. Wood splitting. My Heavenly Father among it all. Yes, this is my season. This is where my senses are awakened, my spirit is being renewed, my home smells and looks like fall. It is here. His splendor and majesty becoming more and more evident each day. Each morning, I awake to a new sign of His presence in the season. 

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)


Some see Spring as a time of renewal, and it is...but to me, Autumn has it's own renewal and I have to think that our great Creator knew we would need more than one renewal each year. It's a time of harvest, in more ways than one. For me, it is the beginning of so many things, school, the season leading up to our Savior's birth, and I am harvesting what I have "sown" so far through the year. It's a time I think back, and reflect and meditate on what I've been taught, and how He has shown me so much and blessed me. How do you experience Autumn?

Thank you, Father, for this time, this season, this renewal.

Love Worth Fighting For...

Lately, I have found myself fighting  in "intense fellowship" WITH my husband.  It's typically over the usual "marriage" issues of kids, money and (let's just be honest) *s*e*x*... and it has been when we are both EXHAUSTED. Well, we had an EYE OPENING moment this past weekend. It was the Love Worth Fighting For Marriage Event this past weekend that REALLY spoke to us BOTH. Let me say, if you EVER get the opportunity to attend one of these events, GO! It will REVOLUTIONIZE your marriage.

In my heart of hearts, the deepest inner part of me, my desire is to be a submissive wife, a Proverbs 31 Woman, if you will. I've studied these things, prayed on these things, and continue to work on becoming the best "ME" I can be. Fact is, I'm human. And sometimes often, my flesh wins. 

You know, certain times of the month are harder to control emotions; when you're tired, it's hard to want the "same thing" as he does; when you're a single income family that has taken been forced into a lower paycheck, and the money doesn't stretch quite near as far as it use to; when your kids are just at their worst and you both have different opinions on how to handle them....I could go on and on and on... If we were to all be honest, we've had those times. I just haven't learned to "temper my tongue" or as my sweet girlfriend tells me, "just be quiet." I try, I really do. I just don't always achieve.

There are ALWAYS going to be circumstances to challenge your marriage. This weekend opened my eyes to so much, but what I loved was hearing that most often, what we are fighting about isn't even the issue. Most often, it goes back to SELFISHNESS! And, in being honest, I will say, thinking back to a day before the conference, that is SO true. "I" wanted. What I wanted, I can't remember now, but I know I wanted to be heard, and validated, and most likely to be acknowledged as being right.

Marriage is give and take. But someone has to be the "bigger"person and in what I've learned lately always known, but preferred to forget, it might be ME! I am commanded to be submissive (subject) to my husband, AS UNTO THE LORD, for as Christ is the head of the Church, is the husband the head of the household. This might probably means I don't need to criticize, or nag  constantly, like the wife who was compared with a dripping faucet in Proverbs. I can't change ANYONE ELSE, but I can, with my Father's help, change me. 

In the end, it seems, if we get back to the real reason we came together, it is because we loved one another enough to pledge to one another, before God; and enter into a covenant relationship with Him as the center. So why in the world is there so many opportunities for strife? Satan. He hates peace, he hates successful marriages, and most of all, he LOATHES love.

Well, I'm taking back my marriage. Satan cannot have ANY part of it. I have spent the last 2 days prayerful over my marriage and talking to my husband about what WE want to fight FOR! We are worth fighting for. Our children are worth fighting for. The rest? Not quite so important anymore! 

I challenge you to take a look at your relationship. Are you on the same page? Are you praying together? for one another? Are you discussing things, or letting them fester until they become "the BIG one"? Dig into His Word. There is so much instruction for wives and husbands in the Word. 

Normal? Or a New Normal?

My life, and the life of my family has been completely flipped upside down since my Mammaw fell, received surgery, then was put in rehab. I found, what I thought, was our new normal. Then, a month later, she had a stroke that left her with minimal speech, and then went back to rehab. I was fearful to leave her. It was as if I felt I could stop another "bad thing" from happening.

My presence didn't matter. It took me a few long weeks of ignoring my home, running to and from the nursing home (rehab), and being completely emotionally and physically exhausted to realize, the only Presence that mattered, was Him.

This beautiful woman, who helped shape my faith, taught me to trust Him, and loved me unconditionally, taught me, in the midst of her storm, that even in this, I should trust Him. She didn't say anything, she may not have even known I struggled, but her own attitude and dedication, and determination to read her Bible and excitement over seeing her brother-in-law come to know Jesus, was enough for me.

What I've come to know, or at least relearn, is that we aren't promised perfect lives. And for now, THIS is my new normal, I can accept and deal with it, trusting His perfect guidance, or I can sulk and groan about how I don't like it or want what "was."  I know the precious lady who has taught me so many lessons in life isn't groaning. She's accepting each day as it comes, trusting Him to lead her through. 

Thank you Father, for this precious being who even in her own time of need, is teaching lessons.....Amen



I

A Bend in the Road...

It was just like any other day, or at least, the days I LOVE, when all seems to fall into place. Beds made, morning chores done, and school was planned for later that day, since one of the kids had an early doctor's appointment. I made my morning phone calls, including my grandmother, just to let her know storms were coming. 
She's 88, super-independent, and my hero...she drives, she cleans, she cares for others, and above all, loves Jesus. I just wanted her to make sure, IF she had any errands to run, to come home before the storms. I like knowing she's safe and sound. 

As I left my son's doctor's office some short time later, I looked at my phone (which I always put on silent at appointments) to see I had 3 missed calls, and one of them left a voicemail. They were all her, and it was odd. She rarely calls more than once a day, and NEVER 3 in a row. The voicemail was her, she didn't mean to leave it, but it let me know she had fallen, and was alone, and needed help. 

As it turns out, she had broken her hip and shoulder, would need surgery to repair them, and we are now on the rehabilitation portion of her journey. What I have learned, is that even though I lived away from home 15 years, that sweet lady, instilled more in me in the 15 years that she raised me, than I ever learned on my own. She was an integral part of my upbringing, since both of my parents worked and my mom was ill a lot of the time. 

And, while I have doubted my homemaking skills at times, that day I realized something huge. These tiny steps I take each day, these things my grandmother told me was important, even when I wasn't too interested....are so important. I left my family a clean house, a menu, food to create meals, and the ability to learn (if limited, still school was done) in my absence. And I knew how to lean on the Father, and pray through each moment!

Don't misread this. I am NOT bragging on my abilities. I am simply giving credit to God for certain realizations, that, even though I dread sometimes, I attempt to accomplish the tasks needed for the day. AND, for His provision of this precious woman who has served others ALWAYS before herself, yet never neglected her time with Him. I still see her kneeling by her bed each night, covering us AND so many others in prayer. 

 Above all, I thank Him for the structure of our household. To some, it may seem crazy, but my husbands days/nights/off days (3-12 hr days/3 days off/3-12 hr nights/3 days off...repeat), homeschooling, and me being a stay at home mom, were ALL perfectly lined up to allow me to jump in and take care of the needs as they arose. My constant laundry, while frustrating at times (and repetitive), has been nice as I pick up my grandma's clothing to wash and return.

And, after beginning this, my great-uncle and great-aunt, who live beside my grandmother, fell within 18 hours of one another; another great-aunt, who was staying with my grandma when she fell, is going today for a scan to see if her lymphoma is back...and when it all seems too much...I have peace. Because He gives me peace.

I could walk in fear, shut down and do nothing, whine because there's too much going on, be afraid for what comes next, but I prefer to remember:


                                                               

"The Lord is my Light and Salvation. Whom shall I fear? Of whom shall I be afraid? The Lord is my Rock, protecting me from danger, why should I tremble? When evil comes to devour me, when enemies attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if attacked, I will remain CONFIDENT. The one thing I ask of the Lord - what I seek most, is to live in His house all the days of my life, delighting in His perfections and meditating in His temple. For He will hide me there when troubles come. He will place me out of reach on a rock. Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At his sanctuary, I will offer sacrifices with shouts of JOY, SINGING, and PRAISING Him with music." (Psalm 27:1-6)

I can CHOOSE to wallow in pity, for me and my loved ones, OR I can follow the example of my hero, my grandma, who helped to shape me as a mother, as a Christian, and as a woman, AND, even in her time of trouble, still speaks of her faith and taking each day as it comes and finding JOY in each day!  I choose JOY!  

Be Blessed!