Heavy Loads....Need Rest....

It happens. We forget. Slowing down doesn't seem like an option. We can't. We must keep moving. Working. Then.....

We get worn down. Patience is worn thin. Tempers flare easily. The laughter seems diminished. We become disconnected. From Him. From one another. 

He promises rest. We only need to seek it. Seek Him. 

“Come to Me, all of you who work and have heavy loads. 

I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

It happened to us. It's been a trying year. We felt the disconnect. From one another. From rest. From Him. Then....

This day. This moment. This beauty. 

 Words were few.

Beauty was all around.

His presence was there.

Slowing. We took in His artwork.

His rest was accepted.

Thanks. Many thanks. Offered. Appreciated. 

Reminders of togetherness. 

Recognition of the important things. People. Family. Love. Him.

I want to be mindful. I want to seek Him. I want to step away from the daily grind. Seek a place of solitude, surrounded by His workmanship. 

Thank You, Father for restoration. Of patience. Of laughter. Of togetherness. For Your presence. Your love. Your grace. May I be mindful. May I not let so much time pass with busyness. May I seek you daily. And intentionally, more often, get away.

My soul, waits in silence for God only,

For my hope is from Him. - Psalm 62:5

Do you get overwhelmed before you remember He promises you rest? I urge you. Do NOT wait. Find your rest. It changes everything. He changes everything.

Be Blessed!

How to....Discovering my idols...

 How to......clean your house, make your house a home, be a better mom, be an excellent wife, and of course, who could forget, how to survive the zombie apocalypse....there are "How to..." books on everything, real or not. I have, myself, been guilty of overloading myself with how to instructional books. In fact, minus the zombie apocalypse, I've owned or currently own all of the above, and probably more! And in the age of blogging, my books aren't all that I have....my blogroll can tell you a story too!

Don't misread - I don't necessarily think there is anything wrong with reading, owning, or seeking help in making yourself better. In fact, I believe it to be admirable, especially when it involves our husband, family, and homes. But have you ever wondered at what point it is considered an idol?

Webster defines an idol as: 1.a representation or symbol of an object of worship; a false God; 2. A likeness of something; 3. An form or appearance visible but without substance; 4. a object of extreme devotion; 5. a false conception. My Bible dictionary defines idol as ANYTHING that takes the place of God.

So, I deduct that an idol, can be anything thing, plan, idea, etc. that becomes higher than worshiping our One True God, including, but not limited to, seeking to constantly be the perfect wife, mom, homemaker, etc. Now, before you stop reading, know this, I am a full-time wife, mom and homemaker. I also seek better communication with my husband, an excellent marriage, patience with my children, ideas on parenting and discipline, tips for keeping an organized, yet welcoming home. I'm just like you, very likely. 

In seeking scripture on this...we can see it was important enough to Him to make it a commandment:

 “You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. - Exodus 20:4-5

The fact is, God hasn't changed. He knew the Israelites were choosing to worship other things, and down through the centuries, we've all created idols. It has been (is) new inventions, such as, televisions, phones; better technology, such as, the NEWEST iphone, best computer; our cars, houses, clothes, bodies, etc. It doesn't, however, have to be something you can touch. It CAN and IS often, our time. And, in the end of verse 5, we can see that what we choose, WILL be passed generations beyond us. That's sobering!

Time.....He is the Author of that. We are to give Him the first and best of ALL He blesses us with. This includes our time. Again, I noticed how much time (and admittedly, money) I had invested in reading about "how to" be better at this or that. What if I sought Him first each day (giving Him the first and best of my time), chose areas an area I wanted to improve (only one. He IS a big God. I, however, am HUMAN), and sought Him first, followed with a book (that I work through rather than skipping to here and there), and applied what I learned. See, the problem is we want it ALL, NOW!

 And as I've been seeking to discover and rid myself of my idols, I've realized, many things have compounded to get me where I am. But ultimately, it IS idolatry. I highlighted the definitions where I felt my "how to's" fit in. And, no, I'm not literally bowing to these books, but in my mind, I'm constantly thinking "which one next?" or "I need to get this organized." or "I need to be more consistent with parenting." Often...these thoughts one right after another. Sometimes, even as I study my Bible, or as I'm journaling. 

Again, I say, there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself or learning new ways to parent, make your home, renew your marriage, or other obvious Proverb 31 traits. I think for me it became an idol, when I aligned myself with the "false conception" that ALL of these things are mine to be made "perfect." This is a journey, and just one of my discoveries along the way. I share, because I sought Him to reveal to me what keeps me from being in constant communion with Him. 

I challenge you to seek Him as well. Have "how to's" become an idol in your life? Have you stopped to ask Him what He wants you to work to improve? As I have done so, I've realized that it's not everything. And, little by little, things are falling into place. Perfection? Hardly. Just a peace from Him, that I am in His will, and things fall into place...so much better. Join me?

Be Blessed!

Overloaded....with Him?!?

Are you ever overloaded with info? I know it happens to all of us. In parenting, put the child to sleep on it's side, now the back, now the stomach....How to get your child to sleep through the night in (fill in the number) quick steps.....And then of course, we have the wonderful internet. It's full of information, some we know, some we don't, but always just a click away! I'm curious, though, do you ever get overloaded with good stuff? You know, like from the Word of God? from ministry? 

We just finished a series at church called "Normal." In the midst of this, my husband and I started a series of devotions on marriage (we aren't finished, so I don't feel that I can link to recommend just yet, but I might when we are done), our small group at church is doing a deeper study connected with the Normal series, and during the Normal series, our church held their annual Marriage and Parenting Summit. All the while, one of my favorite women's ministries...Women Living Well began an every Thursday night webcast for women. Since it's only online for 24 hours, I have faithfully made sure I watch each one.

 "Place these words on your hearts. Get them deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder. Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night. Inscribe them on the doorposts and gates of your cities so that you’ll live a long time, and your children with you, on the soil that God promised to give your ancestors for as long as there is a sky over the Earth."(Deuteronomy 11:18-21 --- The Message)

I can say with certainty. I am in overload! It is (and will continue, I'm sure) taking me a little time to completely sort out all I've learned, and then to apply it to my daily life, as He speaks to me. I have felt the presence of the Father on each on of these things going on....and feel that He is guiding me to be a better wife, mom, and woman through it all. It's just one of those times where I need to read, reread, and maybe repeat...my notes, to pray over the Word, and to seek His best for me and my family. 

Just as with anything else, I was feeling overwhelmed. And then it hit me. What an amazing way to be overwhelmed!!!! I am overloaded with and overwhelmed by the Word of God, and by His messengers, who are giving us the Word for application. I was actually, this morning, moved to tears as I begin to think about all I've learned and how that even though I'll go back through my notes, application has already begun. The prayers I've prayed, as I've learned, they're fruitful. He is definitely alive and working in my family. I see it in my husband, my kids, my marriage, and the overall atmosphere of my home!

This also made me realize, too much of some things, isn't so good. But too much of the Word, and of His solid teachings....there's no such thing! I am in Jesus overload, and LOVE IT! The passage in Deuteronomy......for me, so far as I know in my life, thus far....THIS is what it feels like! What are you overloaded by? I encourage you to Deuteronomy 11:18 it....make it Him! You won't be disappointed. 

Be Blessed!

Disclaimer: In no way do I think I have it figured out. I am a flawed, very flawed, sinner saved by grace, and in no way do I have some crazy notion that I am perfect. I simply desire to honor Christ in my daily life. This is simply me, sharing my thoughts of what He's doing in my life. 

Do you speak Truth or Lies?

What do you speak to yourself...in good times? In bad times? Do you speak words of love, life, and encouragement? Or do you speak words of doubt, fear, and self-destructive things?

I learned a huge lesson....or at least had my eyes opened to this very thing over the past week or two. We've been having some behavior issues out of our boys. So, we've been talking about character, and how God is merciful, and how discipline isn't pleasant for us or them, but it's necessary to help form them into godly men. We have also reassured them that they are good boys and that we believe in them and know that their desire is to be obedient, but our sin nature gets in the way and how God gives us His word to help us CHOOSE not to sin AND to arm us against the negative that the Enemy would rather us believe.

And......a lesson was learned. By me. I have encountered some troublesome times with some extended family over the past 6-9 months. I've been hurt deeply, used, felt anger, had to work on forgiving, etc. However, in the midst of these trials, when the tears are flowing, am I using the Word? No. I'm ashamed to admit. I'm not. 

I've been so guilty of hearing the doubts and lies of the enemy and feeding off of anger to multiply my moment into something far bigger than it was, and I feel justified....in the moment. AND, let me tell you, carrying these things, rather than standing on Truth, doesn't make me the best mommy, wife, homemaker, etc., that I can be! And, surprise!!! I'm not satisfied. Actually, I feel worse. I sulk, and cry, and while these feelings and emotions are ok, for a moment, they aren't where we are intended to reside. 

As we've talked to our boys, I have used two main verses:

"Your word I have treasured in my heart,That I may not sin against You." (Psalm 119:11)

and 

"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12)

I, as a Child of the King, have access to the most powerful weapon against sin, the Enemy, and all other perils. And, if I'm hiding (treasuring) His word in my heart, as the Psalms say, I'm armed when these attacks come my way. We read throughout the Psalms where David cried out in anguish (hence my statement about the feelings and emotions being ok, but only for a moment) to God....however, ultimately, he trusted God, dug out of his pit and moved on. If I preach "hiding His word" in their hearts, what am I modeling, when I am so deeply offended, and feeling angry? Now, that said, I don't go into details, but kids are intuitive. They know when we aren't at our best. 

The verse from Hebrews is HUGE to me. It explains the magnitude of His word. It is LIVING and ACTIVE. If then, this word is hidden in my heart, it is working, digging, cutting, shaping....ALWAYS. Unless, that is, I choose to work against it, relying on my own power (flesh) to resolve whatever I face. In the message, it says the Word is “cutting through everything whether doubt or defense.”  His word cuts through ANY of the lies that attack us and draw us away from Him. We have doubts and hear lies from sources all around us every day. Some are from within us, others are from news sources, people, and other battles we face, but ALL are from Satan. When we are so deeply woven with the Word (hidden in our hearts AND seeking it daily) that we can stand on the knowledge of Truth, we can stand up for what we believe, and against the lies of the world, our own mind, and other forces...which ultimately come from Satan. His plan is to draw us into the lies, and often uses areas of us that are weak. His motive is to suck the joy out of us and our lives until we are just a shell of defeat and there is no more evidence of who God says we are.

I don't expect to achieve perfection, this side of Heaven. But I do know that, personally, I want to be like Jesus. He was tempted, and rebuked Satan’s lies with the Truth of the Word. We have access to this Word, and I believe it’s the single most powerful  tool we have access to, on Earth. It is powerful enough to pull down strongholds (2 Cor. 10:4-5 – "For the weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world, they have divine power to break down strongholds, demolish arguments, and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."), raise the dead, heal the sick, make the deaf hear, the blind see, to destroy Satan’s kingdom, and set up Christ’s kingdom on the ruins!!! That's the power I (and YOU) hold within us. We simply have to tap into it. 

So, as I teach my children, to arm themselves with the Word, this LIVING and ACTIVE Word, that completely guts us (our inner selves, thoughts, and motives exposed)....I think He really intends this lesson for Dee. Yet, in all His ways, this was the way I have had to learn. He's not through with me yet, thankfully! 

What about you? How do you choose to speak to yourself? Do you speak Truth or allow the Enemy to attack you with lies? 

Be Blessed!

A Lesson from a Lesson..

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. (Matthew 6:30-33 - The Message)

It was these very words I read to my oldest son tonight. We were talking learning a lesson about HOW to overcome selfishness, pride, and the desire to always be right. We talked about God being a priority, not an afterthought. He wrote this passage numerous times, and as I read them, again and again, it occurred to me, he wasn't the only one learning a lesson.

How much time to I spend, preoccupied with worldly things? AND, while I want Him to be top priority in my life, how often does He actually occupy that spot? It seems that this parenting thing teaches as many lessons to the parents, as the parents do to the children. 

The part that really got me, probably isn't the most notable part of the verse. "People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God AND the way he works." --- Yikes! What does this say for me? About me? To me? It said, "Read on!" And I did. "Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find ALL your everyday human concerns will be met." 

Steep your life in God-reality. Powerful words. But do I? Sometimes I do, sometimes I have days where I am completely in His presence. But more often, I'm not. God-initiative, God-provisions. How much of the abundant life am I missing? LOTS!

I know that I want my children to struggle less than I do, in all things, but especially in developing their faith. I want them to seek Him daily, without having to "make" time for Him. I want them to know Him so dearly, that He is a part of their every breath, their every moment. And so, it occurred to me, that I must steep my own life in Him! It is my example that they will most likely follow. I want them to KNOW that their everyday human concerns will be met, because He is good and just and ALWAYS sovereign. 

So my priorities were made clear tonight, through a lesson I thought I was teaching. What lessons are you learning? What are your priorities? 

Spring, my Journey...

Spring has sprung!!!! It's not (unlike many people) my favorite season. Oh no, THAT is reserved for my beloved Autumn. However, even in me, Spring brings a certain excitement, a certain newness, and a desire for all things new, clean, and orderly. 

I have found myself pondering over which blooms shall appear in and around our home. I've spent too much time planning, organizing, and creating cleaning plans, routines, and enjoying the newness of it all. Now, will I stick to these routines? I believe so. See, I've learned to hear the voice of the Spirit, instead of wondering around aimlessly trying to figure it out alone. 

Spring. It's the season of new life. I have prayed, throughout my life, that I would be a wife, mother, and homemaker who is respected for her love and devotion to her family and home. Yet, I have failed faltered in all of those areas for many years. I manage to keep one area going well, and fall down on my prayer life, or time devoted to another. I truly struggle balancing my inner Mary and Martha. I have the desire to have the heart of Mary, but the home of Martha. Yikes. 

I am grateful for Spring. Since it's the season of new life, I began to pray about what this really means for me. See, I'm not a big "New Years" resolution kind of girl. I've tried (even this year) to start new stuff during the shift from one year to the next, thinking of it as a fresh start. It's not for me. However, it seems, prayer, plus planning, has helped me to realize, THIS is my season.

He created order AND beauty in the buds that turn to full trees; the sprouts of green, that become tulips, irises, hostas and more. He also, created order AND beauty in me. 

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? - Matthew 6:28-30

Since He lovingly created me...and assures me, in Matthew that I shouldn't worry about what I will wear, I have to venture to think that He ALSO knew, as He "knit me together," He knew what I was to become. He knew the vast job I'd be doing, and He equipped me FULLY for this job. 

To consider myself "failing" at this job, is simply an insult to Him. No one considers a flower a failure when it wilts, at the end of its season, or the tree a failure when it drops its leaves in the Autumn, or the grass as it become brown with the cold of Winter. Why? Because they aren't. They were perfectly created to change with the seasons, as He divinely ordered it. 

What I've come to realize, is I went through a season of change, and have been trying to live as if I were a tree in Winter, attempting to maintain it's leaves. My new season isn't just the same as it was 2, 3, or even 4 years ago. I've added children to my day - ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, and teaching, on top of the regular "homemaker" duties. My husbands work schedule is different, my oldest started college and works, my 12 yr old is mowing with his father on the side this year, and my 5 yr old is trying to assert his independence..not necessarily the right way. My days don't all look the same anymore. It's time to adjust to my new season...to bloom where I am planted. 

So, I am on board with a new season. My Spring has sprung. I'm trusting His guiding, and He has provided me with some pretty awesome guides to get started. I found a calendar, a deep cleaning list, and an amazing book by Sarah Mae, called 31 Days to Clean -- Having a Martha House the Mary Way.  

I don't know what will work and what will need changing, but my heart has changed, along with my season, and the Holy Spirit is my guide. From here, I'm just excited to watch what "blooms." I'm curious if any of you have found yourself in the same kind of ruts, where life has changed, but you haven't. How did you dig out of the trenches and adjust to the newness of it all? 

Normal? Or a New Normal?

My life, and the life of my family has been completely flipped upside down since my Mammaw fell, received surgery, then was put in rehab. I found, what I thought, was our new normal. Then, a month later, she had a stroke that left her with minimal speech, and then went back to rehab. I was fearful to leave her. It was as if I felt I could stop another "bad thing" from happening.

My presence didn't matter. It took me a few long weeks of ignoring my home, running to and from the nursing home (rehab), and being completely emotionally and physically exhausted to realize, the only Presence that mattered, was Him.

This beautiful woman, who helped shape my faith, taught me to trust Him, and loved me unconditionally, taught me, in the midst of her storm, that even in this, I should trust Him. She didn't say anything, she may not have even known I struggled, but her own attitude and dedication, and determination to read her Bible and excitement over seeing her brother-in-law come to know Jesus, was enough for me.

What I've come to know, or at least relearn, is that we aren't promised perfect lives. And for now, THIS is my new normal, I can accept and deal with it, trusting His perfect guidance, or I can sulk and groan about how I don't like it or want what "was."  I know the precious lady who has taught me so many lessons in life isn't groaning. She's accepting each day as it comes, trusting Him to lead her through. 

Thank you Father, for this precious being who even in her own time of need, is teaching lessons.....Amen



I

Where is Your Faith?

I'm currently continuing my Good Morning Girls Bible Study in Luke. At the same time, I'm going through storms I never dreamed I'd encounter. I've faced fears, and fear of certain situations and people who cause I allow to cause such anxiety to arise in me, it is paralyzing at times.

As I was reading in Luke tonight, I was reminded of several things. I'll share the passage I was drawn to:

One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s cross to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and started out. As they sailed across, Jesus settled down for a nap. But soon a fierce storm came down on the lake. The boat was filling with water, and they were in real danger. The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and the raging waves. Suddenly the storm stopped and all was calm. Then he asked them, “Where is your faith?” The disciples were terrified and amazed. “Who is this man?” they asked each other. “When he gives a command, even the wind and waves obey him!” (Luke 8:22-25 NLT)

My first realization was, that my "ship"may be tossing in the "storm"...but my Captain is always accessible. I only need to ask aka PRAY! It seems when I encounter a storm, one such as the one I'm in, I forget to keep close to Him.

While it seems like a natural thing for a Christian, and it should be, I'm still human. I'm pulled in many different directions and at times, I feel as if I've gone overboard without my life jacket. I struggle with purpose, direction, and staying in His presence. Yet tonight, He nudged me, and told me.."I'm here."

As I pondered and prayed some more. I wonder how many times He's said to me "Where's your faith?" I know I've acted and maybe even felt as if things are hopeless, at times. Yet, He IS my Hope. And, in Him, I find all that I need; peace, love, contentment, joy (even through the tears), and most of all, safety and comfort.

I pray that whatever storm you have encountered or will encounter that you, through this, are reminded of His love. How will you handle your storm? Will you have Faith? Will you trust your Captain?

Losing Control --- Grace for Today...

 I am sure, at times, we all hit a place where we "lose control" and/or can't find our way through today or see the way to tomorrow. For me it is within my home, a few things out of place, laundry a little behind, school not planned like I should, etc. It leaves me feeling nothing less than CHAOTIC. I don't know where to start, which way to turn, what comes first, it really can get me all out of sorts.

Yet, today, I received the loving, gentle nudge from my Father, reminding me, control is NOT mine to have. I have reminders ALL over the house to lean on Him. AND, a place, a quiet sanctuary, known as Mom's chair, and my Jesus box (as dubbed by my middle son) that houses my Bible, tablet, devotionals and journals. I pray often throughout the day, and cry out to Him in the midst of my joys and struggles....and yet, I hit a plateau, a place like today where I feel overwhelmed and sad, frustrated, and unable to complete my tasks...or so it seems. 

See, I emailed a friend, sharing my burden. She knows my strengths, my weaknesses, my accomplishments and my shortcomings. She's my confidant, a dear friend, and she encourages me and prays with and for me, and I pray that I am the same to her. She knows my good, bad, and ugly. She reminded me today that I have the tools to do this, that I just have to pace myself, determine what's important and move forward. 

So, as I knelt and thanked God for her, He gently spoke peace to me.  He, not I, guided me through my day...not necessarily as I had it planned, but as it best flowed.

I have to share the reminders I've noticed, throughout my home and in various other places as I've moved through this day:

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I have all I need." - Psalm 23:1

 "I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me. God made me able to do everything required of me." (From Charlotte Mason's Student Motto - a homeschool curriculum method from a BRILLIANTLY faithful woman)

"You have the JOY of the Lord as your strength" (based on Nehemiah 8:10, from a Bible Promises sheet, I share with my kiddos)

AND, finally, my sweet grandmother, who is in a rehab facility for a broken hip and shoulder, she always lifts me up. She had a roommate when she first arrived, and her roommate left last Friday. She asked us to pray over the weekend about her new roommate, that she would be in her "right" mind and able to communicate with her, among other things. Well, she arrived yesterday and all our prayers aren't answered how we thought they would be. However, as I told my grandmother what a wonderful woman she was, she said, I take what I get, and find the blessing in it. God's blessings are in EVERYTHING.

Now I know, I didn't lose control, I never had it. He has it and me in the palm of His hand. I AM capable of all He requires of me. I have to learn what is priority and what is desire, and enjoy a little of the desire, but stay focused on priorities AND realize, sometimes, those can change at a moment's notice. A little prayer, a little nudging, a few reminders, and a whole LOT of GRACE from my Father...this day was peace filled. And tomorrow - I pray I remember this lesson from today.


Be Blessed!

A Bend in the Road...

It was just like any other day, or at least, the days I LOVE, when all seems to fall into place. Beds made, morning chores done, and school was planned for later that day, since one of the kids had an early doctor's appointment. I made my morning phone calls, including my grandmother, just to let her know storms were coming. 
She's 88, super-independent, and my hero...she drives, she cleans, she cares for others, and above all, loves Jesus. I just wanted her to make sure, IF she had any errands to run, to come home before the storms. I like knowing she's safe and sound. 

As I left my son's doctor's office some short time later, I looked at my phone (which I always put on silent at appointments) to see I had 3 missed calls, and one of them left a voicemail. They were all her, and it was odd. She rarely calls more than once a day, and NEVER 3 in a row. The voicemail was her, she didn't mean to leave it, but it let me know she had fallen, and was alone, and needed help. 

As it turns out, she had broken her hip and shoulder, would need surgery to repair them, and we are now on the rehabilitation portion of her journey. What I have learned, is that even though I lived away from home 15 years, that sweet lady, instilled more in me in the 15 years that she raised me, than I ever learned on my own. She was an integral part of my upbringing, since both of my parents worked and my mom was ill a lot of the time. 

And, while I have doubted my homemaking skills at times, that day I realized something huge. These tiny steps I take each day, these things my grandmother told me was important, even when I wasn't too interested....are so important. I left my family a clean house, a menu, food to create meals, and the ability to learn (if limited, still school was done) in my absence. And I knew how to lean on the Father, and pray through each moment!

Don't misread this. I am NOT bragging on my abilities. I am simply giving credit to God for certain realizations, that, even though I dread sometimes, I attempt to accomplish the tasks needed for the day. AND, for His provision of this precious woman who has served others ALWAYS before herself, yet never neglected her time with Him. I still see her kneeling by her bed each night, covering us AND so many others in prayer. 

 Above all, I thank Him for the structure of our household. To some, it may seem crazy, but my husbands days/nights/off days (3-12 hr days/3 days off/3-12 hr nights/3 days off...repeat), homeschooling, and me being a stay at home mom, were ALL perfectly lined up to allow me to jump in and take care of the needs as they arose. My constant laundry, while frustrating at times (and repetitive), has been nice as I pick up my grandma's clothing to wash and return.

And, after beginning this, my great-uncle and great-aunt, who live beside my grandmother, fell within 18 hours of one another; another great-aunt, who was staying with my grandma when she fell, is going today for a scan to see if her lymphoma is back...and when it all seems too much...I have peace. Because He gives me peace.

I could walk in fear, shut down and do nothing, whine because there's too much going on, be afraid for what comes next, but I prefer to remember:


                                                               

"The Lord is my Light and Salvation. Whom shall I fear? Of whom shall I be afraid? The Lord is my Rock, protecting me from danger, why should I tremble? When evil comes to devour me, when enemies attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if attacked, I will remain CONFIDENT. The one thing I ask of the Lord - what I seek most, is to live in His house all the days of my life, delighting in His perfections and meditating in His temple. For He will hide me there when troubles come. He will place me out of reach on a rock. Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At his sanctuary, I will offer sacrifices with shouts of JOY, SINGING, and PRAISING Him with music." (Psalm 27:1-6)

I can CHOOSE to wallow in pity, for me and my loved ones, OR I can follow the example of my hero, my grandma, who helped to shape me as a mother, as a Christian, and as a woman, AND, even in her time of trouble, still speaks of her faith and taking each day as it comes and finding JOY in each day!  I choose JOY!  

Be Blessed!

Let it Rain .... Blessings a plenty...

And, here it is, the finale to our story....not really, though, it's just the end of one chapter, because we are still walking this journey, singing our New Song....and I'm excited to see what all God has in store for us.

So this new job...while it fell right into our lap, I'm aware, that it was Divinely arranged and God was teaching us so much through the journey we were on. We started out, on August 31, calling and making contact with anyone we could, getting out resumes. Our Labor Day weekend was full of updates and phone calls. We were blessed with some amazing people who jumped right in to do whatever they could to help. Don't even believe in chance meetings, because, if you've been placed in the path of someone, God had a reason for it. TRUST ME!

I met a dear sweet lady through a mutual friend in 2008 or 2009, who has become one of my dearest friends. We got to know each other over phone, text, and facebook, and upon moving back to Knoxville, lost contact, briefly. When we reconnected, it was shortly before we were looking for our new home, and wouldn't you know, we wound up right down the street from her. Over time, we became acquainted with her parents and many of their friends, you know the kind, the ones who love you like family.
So, her father was one of the first Shawn made contact with. He mentioned some people he would be calling, got a resume, and set to work. Little did I know, how things can come full circle. See, in my mind, Shawn would be candidate for and offered a position that I applied for, for him, the morning of the day he lost his job...of course, that was before I knew what would come our way that day.

Meanwhile, my dear friend's dad offered my hubby the opportunity to maintain his lawn for the remainder of the summer, and then several of their dear friends did the same. I am THRILLED (though, at the time, I was sick!) to say, we were denied any assistance from our Government. No food stamps. Yet, we never, and I mean NEVER went without. He was able to come up with enough yards to mow, and odd jobs, here and there, to supply every need we had AND a few wants, here and there.

He and his wife, also went WAY beyond what was necessary, and gave us a some money to provide security until we got on our feet. They were more than gracious in telling us, they WANTED to do so, it was completely unexpected, yet, completely GOD! I will never be able to thank them enough for their generosity, or repay them. But, that's the thing about God. He provides people, when we trust Him, who are generous (be it with time, money OR services) without expectations!

So, back to the job...the job I just KNEW Shawn would have, and trust me, I had it played out in my head. I KNEW thought I knew what God was doing! He was providing for us before we knew we needed it. In hindsight, He absolutely was, but not MY way. He received the call, that they were looking for someone with a bit different experience. I was disappointed DEVASTATED!!!!  What in the world were we going to do now? Shawn was patient, disappointed, but reminded me, that we have sown our tithes, been faithful (of course, not perfect) to Him, and trusted His provisions...and that shouldn't stop now!

On a random day, when we were sitting at the library, Shawn received a call. It was a man, whom we'd made contact with through my dear friend's dad....MANY weeks ago. He was interested in Shawn. The drawback? He would have to start ALL over. Beginning in production, because that's how it's done there. He asked for Shawn's resume, and we sent it. We get home, he has an email, but from another person within the company, a person who less than 6 weeks back lost one of his guys. Wanna see God? While Shawn wasn't above starting again and working his way up....I believe God knew this. This guy could offer Shawn a position (NOT IN PRODUCTION) doing what he loves!!!!!  

Of course, I don't think I passed God's test of patience, or lessons with flying colors. Because the interview happened quickly, but we waited forever a few days to receive confirmation on which of the 3 guys would be chosen. I am ashamed to say, I was having a  rough morning, one that involved lots of coffee, tears, and my husband leading me through scripture (when I should have been comforting him).  We had JUST read in his study Bible, a little devotion and the words that stuck out to me were: "When you're just about out of options, that's when you're ready for God's miracle."  The phone rang.

It was THE call. He was offered the position and was to report the next Monday. Who would have thought, a call made in the first week, would have been THE call that was the be all, end all? God, that's who. He knew, and in all of the applying, follow-up calls, interviewing and more, that it was already worked out.

And, so....for now, that's where we are on our journey. It is FAR from complete, it is one we will continue throughout our life. It's a story written through tears, faith, and wouldn't be what it is, without Him.

I am reminded of the scripture I wrote down (paraphrased), in our checkbook, the day he lost his job: "The Lord God WILL provide." (paraphrased from Gen. 22:14)

Thanks for patiently waiting as I've penned this long story. I hope you take away something, or view your own journey a little differently as you've read. 

Be Blessed!

Losses....or Prayers Answered?

One should NEVER and again, I say, NEVER, underestimate the power of prayer! I have had the book, Power of a Praying wife, by Stormie OMartian for years. I've read through it, prayed all chapters, and at times, some chapters that were applicable to that time period, but honestly, I think I've memorized some of that book, and the accompanying verses over the past 6-8 months. It was during his first week at his new job, that I realized, even though at the time, it was hard to see.....I prayed him through this storm! And, God was faithful ALL along!

So I'm sitting beside him on the couch, reading through my journal (it bears saying that reading both of our journals became prophetic at some points....) and it was as if God spoke to me right then and there. He said, "Dee, my child, can't you see? I've been there. Answered ALL of these prayers. My timing is not yours, My ways, not yours, but I am faithful and just and loving. Take a look and see that I am good."

So, I begin to flip through, my journal and my Power of a Praying Wife book. Sure enough, it was all there in black and white (and my doodles of blue, highlighted with pink, orange, and yellow). My favorite line is written in my journal, highlighted and underlined in my book, and starred in my book. It is: "If the work he is doing ins not in line with Your perfect will for his life, reveal it to him. Show him what he should do differently and guide him down the right path." I have written in my journal with that, "Lord show him what You would have him do, and where You are leading, reveal the door of good for him and open this door of opportunity which no man can shut. Lead him to the right people (and my favorite line) and remove from his path (or he from theirs) those who WOULD BE TROUBLE."

Now, I am not saying his ex-boss is a bad man, I don't know him. I only know that he was NOT the boss for my husband or any number of other people he's trampled on. Of course, in my mind, the above mentioned prayers, meant that we would find a new job, give a 2 weeks notice, and start a new journey. But God reminded me of another area I'd prayed and gently led me to another section of my book and my journal.

Again, in black and white (and my additions of color), it was clear again. He answered my prayers. I had begin praying for his health especially back in June when our Dr. forced my husband into a 4 week FMLA leave of absence due to stress. The Dr.'s specific instructions during this 4 weeks, was to find another job and get the heck out of that place. So, we kicked up our search big time. But, that was not the timing. He went back to work in July, and where he was rested from his 4 weeks of normal stress, within a week, he was already back in a not so great place.

So, back to my journal ---- I look and see that I've highlighted: "Even though we pray and have faith, the outcome and timing are God's decision. He says there is a "time to heal" (Ecclesiastes 3:3)." Further on, I have written out and highlighted from the book: "Wherever there is anything out of balance, set it into perfect working order. Heal him of any illness, injury or weakness. Strengthen his body to successfully endure his workload and when he rests, may he wake completely rested, rejuvenated, and refreshed. Fill him with your joy to give him strength."  Then I have written out Psalm 107:1--20 - "They cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction."

In my mind, I was praying for healing within his current place of work. My thought was, God hasn't answered our prayers and so maybe our answer is to stay put and trust in Him. This angered me, because I was watching my husband suffer, and lose confidence in what he's spent his life loving and learning.  But, who am I? God knows best, right?

He reminded me on the couch that night, "I do know best. I answered your prayers. I heard your words, I rescued him, gave him rest, and have a new and beautiful path for him. Be patient my child." Well, I'm sure by now, God is FULLY aware, patience isn't my strongest virtue. I can see now, looking back, he took what was out of balance, and fixed it...I thought I was praying for health, but God sees a man as a whole being, perfectly created by His own hands. And so His idea of fixing things and mine, were so different.

He removed from his path all dangers....He showed him which path was not his, because we clearly couldn't see.....He gave him a time to heal (5 weeks to be exact).....and rescued us from our distress. Shawn went to his new job with a confidence I hadn't seen in years (that's a part of the story, I will share later)...and refreshed!

So, for now, I must stop....the kiddos are waking, but stay tuned....this story isn't done.  :)

Be Blessed!

Losses....on the Journey...

 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. - Psalm 119:105

Ultimately, there comes a time in our lives when nothing is clear. Uncertainty looms, and we don't know what to do, what to say, where to go, or what will come next. I've been there. Quite recently, as a matter of fact, and it was (is) a journey I don't regret. 

My husband lost his job. To be quite honest, I was terrified. He is the only income for our family, we are a homeschooling family and I have been a stay at home mom since November 1999. We had NEVER in our 18 years of marriage been on a journey like this. He's always had a stable, dependable job, even throughout the tough economy, even though, he worked in the automotive sector. We've been blessed, I guess, as I know of many who've been down this path several times. 

What made this so huge, to me at least, was the fact that this didn't happen once. It happened twice, and in less than 2 years. The first time, we had stepped out in faith, believing God was leading us back to our East TN roots, which we still don't doubt. We were prayerfully, after 14 years away, coming home. He worked for 29 days at this awesome company, doing this awesome job he was so excited about. Then the bottom fell out, they hit financial difficulties and we were a casualty of that. That journey, while God provided for us, isn't one I'm proud of. Our faith was weak, we tried to do it alone, I spoke the words, but honestly, my faith was quite wishy-washy during that time. After 6 months of searching, and almost giving up and returning to NC (though I'm not sure what that would have accomplished), he found a job. One he was so excited about. One that seemed perfect. 

So ... on to the journey. After about 90 days, his job lost it's "perfect." His boss became demeaning, mean, dishonest and did/said unimaginable things. For the first time, in his career, he was truly in a hostile work environment, and it was HELL. All the time, he'd heard from others that this would happen. I even encouraged him not to listen to the naysayers. He'd heard about the 4 looming lawsuits against the company and his boss, and still, believed he'd be "the" employee that made it past the 9 month mark (to this point, no one in his position had done so) and could prove them wrong. Well, he did, sort of. He'd covered his butt, watched every step, crossed every "t" and dotted every "i"....fought many false write-ups (which he had NEVER received until this job) and proved them false. He missed one "t" or "i".....not really sure which. He was 11 days shy of making it 18 months. And then it ended. JUST LIKE THAT. 

What made this journey different? Our faith. In this 18 months, my own prayers for my hubby to be our leader, to become my godly husband (mind you, he wasn't a bad man, he just didn't spiritually lead us, commit to time with God daily, he was a believer, but definitely, like many of us get at times, spiritually lazy), and a change happened in February 2011. One that changed our life forever....well....at least to this point.....

He came home on August 31st, 2012, with the news that once again, he was unemployed. I was terrified and angry, yet relieved he'd never be under that mans control again. I was shocked, yet not surprised. Something in my spirit had warned me of this....to the point that the morning of the 31st, I'd called a friend to pray with me. 

We had been job searching since January, thinking we'd find a way out of this horrible, hostile environment, that had sucked the very life, joy, and spirit out of my husband. I had desperately prayed, as I will share....for him to be rescued from this place. And God did indeed, answer my prayers. Many will argue, I suppose, that it wasn't God, but I have looked back at my prayer journal (and his) enough to know, it was indeed. And standing on the other side, I've no doubts. 

(I will continue this story.....but for now, this mama is a teacher too, and must go teach children. Stay tuned for the next chapter.)